Beware of the Blogthief! Beware!

I was having a conversation, via email, with Mr. Fabulous. Seems that his address book was highjacked by some Bingo Playin' Whorebags who try to get you to sign up to play with him. First of all, does Mr. Fab strike you as the Bingo type? Nay. He does not. Naked Twister, perhaps. Bingo? Big fat negative. So, if you get an email from him asking you to "play bingo", just delete it. If you get one asking you to play "strip poker", yeah. That just might be him. You have to be careful, people! Watch where you are putting your email address! It's like leaving your tits swinging in the wind for public fondling! (Or balls, whatever you got dangling, it's all good).

I mentioned, on his blog, how I was similarly violated this past week, but not via email. No. There is a pig on the planet who actually TOOK one of my posts, changed her name from CP to (get this) GT (duh!) and the protagonist of my story from Tony to Vinny. Vinny, Tony. They all drip olive oil, right? Badabing. Any italian name will do, eh blogthief whore? Guess so. For my regular readers, you know that this person stole a post that was very painful for me to write. If she had stolen the post about my nearly being arrested at JFK airport, fine! I can live with that. Hell, even the post about the waitress with the dirty toe picking habit who was about to serve me some dinner, Great! Have at it! All I ask is for a little note of "Hey, This Post Was Written By Certifiable Princess" at the bottom. Put it in a font size of "one" if you want people to overlook it and think that YOU wrote it. Swell.

But, to steal the most painful moment of a persons life and embrace it as your own?

I felt like I got plowed by a strap on, up my ass, sans lube. I literally started to shake. I nearly cried. Why that post of all posts?

Why? CAUSE IT WAS A FUCKING EXCELLENT POST, THAT'S WHY!!!

So, on that level, I can't really blame the blogthief whore for stealing it. The interesting thing was that I wasn't alerted of the theft. Rather, I was doing some research on victims/survivors of domestic violence a couple of days ago and stumbled onto this blog. I started to read. I'm thinking...wow, this girl is great. Whoa. This girl has a lot to say! Holy shit! That happened to me too! MOtHEr FuCKEr it IS ME!!! To add insult to injury, were the commenters. People telling her how bad they felt for her. Bad? That wasn't a post to elicit sympathy. Anyone who knows me, knows that. That is what makes it more hard to fathom...the fact that this sort of violence took place in MY life. This girls blog was nothing but a pity party from start to finish. My writing looked so out of context, so out of focus there. Kind of like Ron Jeremy standing in a room full of eunuchs.

Sidenote: Did you know Ron Jeremy was actually able to roll himself into a ball and suck his own dick, ergo dubbing him with the nickname of "Hedgehog"? Did you know his penis was 9.75 inches long? Did you know we were born in the same town in Queens, New York? Did you know he is Jewish pornstar? Aren't you glad I told you this? I am nothing, if not informative.

Anyway, back to the blogthief whorebag. I left a comment on her page after I saw someone else write this one:

"I don't believe you. I believe this happened to someone. Just not you. You never written anything this good before."

After that, she was met with a slew of "u r full of shit" and "u r a liar" kind of comments. I thought it was a good time to post my blog address, to show everyone that they were right on target with their comments (however lacking they were grammatically) and that I had written this post a mere TWO WEEKS earlier! Then, I suggested that everyone hit the "FLAG THIS BLOG" button on the top of her browser. I even wrote the little whorebag an email which bounced right back, adding to my frustrations. I wrote the people at "Blogger" and they said they would address my concern. Um, yeah. Thanks.

A few days later, BlogThief Whorebag was gone from the face of the Blogger universe.

What lesson have I learned from this experience? None. I am going to continue dishing up my life the way I always have. Face it. I am an interesting person. I get into a lot of trouble all the time. It FINDS me. I swear! But, it makes me realize how vulnerable all our words really are when we post them on our blogs. Someone a million miles away may be pretending to be you, or you...or even YOU.

Just be ready to deal with it when it happens. Be calm. Be rational. Be cool. And, if all else fails, track the fucker down and rip her lung out through her asshole. If Ron Jeremy can suck his own wang, surely you can do a little rearranging on someone elses organs, right?

Just sayin'.