Hotband rented the Certifiable Princess a Mustang Convertible. Yee haw. We are leaving tomorrow afternoon for our condo down on North Miami Beach to spend the weekend in the sun, on the beach and of course, having sex in the ocean.
Sweet. Don't have to worry about being on my knee in the water...because, my big ol' ass floats and my boobies are buoys by design. Like I said. Sweet.
I will have plenty of pics from South Beach and boobies galore for all my male and lesbian readers. Check out the ass on THAT little slice of heaven over there. Got dumps like a truck, truck. Heh. 
For my girls and my gay boys, I will have hot cuban lick-worthy men with oiled down bodies. A plethora of sex, sun and sand. Aye Caramba!
Thank the sweet Lawd for camera phones.
In the interim, here is your mission, should you choose to accept it. Mr. CP (aka the hotband) has expressed some interest in wanting to blog on my blog. He was a tad offended that I didn't ask him to guest blog for me while I was injured. He wanted a gift like the prezzies I bought for my guest bloggers. I gave him head instead. He's over it.
But, because I love the man so much, I think I will give him ample opportunity to have his way with my blog. So, if you can...please leave a question for him in the comment section. You can ask him anything you want. It can be something you wanted to know about me. It can be something about your malfunctioning computer. It can be about the meaning of life. I don't care what you ask him...just please. Ask him SOMETHING. ANYTHING. Anything, so he stops whining how I didn't let him guest blog for me.
Do your best to make the questions REALLY personal, rude and lewd. He's extremely shy and introverted. Nothing like his babe-alicious wifey. If you actually ask a question that flusters him to the point where he refuses to answer, you will win one of CP's crazy prizes that she so desperately loves to send to people. Face it, I am an attention whore who is not above spending money to buy peoples affections.
It's what got me to prom queen. I have no shame.
So please, ask away. Have fun with it...and the Hotband will answer all your questions when we return on Monday. We will be tanned, sexually spent and picking sand out of each others asses. Good times.
Y'all have a great weekend. Miss me. Or, even if you don't, lie to me.
I need that kind of validation.
30 comments:
Let me see here....Hmmm...I need a good fluster question...I want to win a prize damn it!
Ok - here goes my lewd attempt:
"Has CP ever slipped you a finger up your _____ during sex?"
Mr. CP: Are you going to participate in HNT and post a pic of your half-nekkid self?
Ok, I have a computer problem. Mr. CP: What the fuck does "verifying DMI pool data" mean? And why the hell does my computer sometimes hang at that point? I think I probably need to beat the shit out of it with a baseball bat. Does this sound correct?
OH I will miss you.
HotBand...please tell us the most surprising fact about CP....
I just got lady wood from looking at that delicious photo of that woman. UGHHH! That was hot! So was that guy by the by… or bi?
Umm… now that you have me in a complete flustered frenzy over this sexual blog of yours---I do have a question for you CP… What will happen if you had sex in the ocean, and the salt goes up your cooch? I mean, think about it----GOFFABID you have a little razor cut or …umm… I dunno. Wouldn’t that kinda be irritating? Can you tell I have never had sex in the ocean? I mean, pools are one thing, but the ocean? Wow. I’ll be on the beachside watching!
HOTBAND… I have a few questions for you sweetie.
1. What’s the most bazaar place you and CP done it?
2. What is the one thing that absolutely drives you NUTS…(ha-I said nuts) about CP?
3. Favorite position?
4. Favorite body part on CP?
5. Have you ever had a sexual encounter with a man before?
The lie detector is ON!
You did say 'as many questions' as I want, right? ....Right.
Awwwwwww, shit.
OK: When you're doing ass-to-mouth with CP, do you kiss her afterwards?
I'll be looking for my prize in the mail.
Dear Hotband,
When are you divorcing my bitch? I'm getting kinda angry over here. I've been patient.
Oh...and do you get off on sucking CP's toes?
That is all.
CP.......don't get me wrong....I loved my Guest Blogger Gift and plan to post about it....but it looks like NOT guest blogging gets you such a better gift!!!!!
Lucky Stiff.
HAVE FUN!!!!!
see you next week.
Mr. CP,
How do you feel about lima beans?
Scrib
deb - I was thinking the same thing about the ocean sex. I had read in Cosmo or something that it's bad to have sex in ANY water...bathtubs, pools, rivers, lakes, oceans. Showers are ok, because the water is falling on you...you're man (or woman with accessories) is not pumping that shit all up in your business.
Hotband - Exactly how JONX is CP? Inquiring minds want to know.
Hotband-when you masturbate, what do you think of? And where do you usually do it?
I just know this question isn't as good as nihilistic's, but I'm taking a shot anyway.
That chick is hot...
The dude? Not so much...he looks like he just got kicked in the junk.
Mr. CP, how do you feel about all of the sexual activities with lemurs going on in your house? And do you participate?
lol, great blog. came over from Deb's, and i'm not even a lesbian. well, maybe a lesbian trapped in a man's body.
love your style of writing.
question for hotband:
if her breasteses are so buoyant, does that rule out sex in the tub? i mean, can you get jiggy, or does she keep floating away from you?
inquiring minds want to know. :)
Nothing quite like having carte blanche to jolt the creative, yet perverted juices, as it were...
Hotband... what is your opinion of a man who sticks his finger up a chick's ass while he's boning her, maintain eye contact while she's giving him the "fish eye" (head cocked backwards so she can see what the hell is going on back there), and once he's established eye contact, sticks the finger up to his nose and takes a DEEP INHALE?
What is up with that? It's been years since something like that happened, and it still disturbs me.
Please help.
If CP can talk you into blowing me, would you swallow or spit?
*nix or M$
(specifically linux)
Dear Hotband,
Yes, I'm back.
If CP and I were having hot monkey sex, and say you were sitting in the corner watching, would you give me hints on certain things she likes or would you just keep your mouth shut, like a good boy? Oh...and if I broke out a saddle and wanted to ride you like a donkey, would that be ok too?
Sincerely,
Laurie
I have no question at this point... except when I can expect my oiled down, ripped, Cuban sex slave in the mail.
???
When, huh??
haulover beach will never be the same... maybe we'll see you there... i'll be the homo with the 75 yr old lady... ha
for the hotband... did you ever sexually experiment with a boy when you were young and what did you do? don't lie, every boy does it... are you blushing yet? and what do i win? hopefully computer advice....dbv
Ooh! Have a great time! :D
I can never think of questions like this. I feel all dumb and shit.
Hotband...Aside from the fact that you have a helluva woman there...is there any clebrity you'd dump her for or fantasize about?
I just wanted you to know I had a really good questions and damn blogger wouldn't let me post.
Now I've forgotten it.
Shit.
Dr. Mr. CP,
I have a very simple request... can I have CP for just one night? Ok a day and a night and the morning after but could I, huh? Puhleeeze?
hope you had an awesome time.....we want all the gritty details!!!!!!
What happened? It's Tuesday CP. You drown making out in the ocean?
I know all the juicy ones are about sex but, damnit, there are other things to ask about!
now what are they....?
Oh yeah, I wanted to ask Hotband:
If you could wander back into your past with CP (after all, it is her blog we're on) and change one thing, what would that be AND why?
And, if I may be so presumptuous, I would like to ask a second question: (Hotband HAS to answer all of the questions, right?)
What's one thing you've never told CP about yourself?
Oh come on, we all have secrets... perhaps it's just an insignificant detail about your past. Pull that moldy skeleton out of your closet and dust it off.
really enjoying your blog!
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