My husband is, right now, on Song flight 1990 from JFK to Tampa International. I am tracking the flight, watching every single move it makes. For those of you who haven't been into my archives at all, my husband has been taking contracts out of town for work, until he could secure a full time position with a MAJOR computer corporation. He has been in Wisconsin, Chicago, New Jersey and as of late, NYC for the past seven months. It has been absolutely taxing on both of us for different reasons. For him? The lonely feeling of being away from your family and sleeping in hotel rooms, eating alone, falling asleep with no one beside you to kiss you goodnight. For me? Having to do everything around the house, handle the kids on my own, missing him terribly and like him, falling asleep alone every night without his kisses. It sucked. Big time.
But today was his last day at the New York City contract. His excellent work ethic and commitment to his job landed him not only the full time position that he wanted, but it is a remote position, which means...HUSBAND WILL BE HOME FOR THE NEXT 365 DAYS and working out of OUR LIVING ROOM!
Tonight is the beginning of a homecoming long in the making. Sure, we saw each other every single weekend. Either I went to NYC or wherever he was working, or he flew down here for the weekend to be with me and the kids. But, it just isn't the same.
His plane will be landing in ONE hour and I admit, I am like an eager little girl waiting for Christmas morning (Bad Jew. Should have said Channukah. Forgive me, Esther.) I have prettied up the house (despite my throbbing knee), got myself all showered and done up (you know, all made up for the "natural look") and even made sure that his side of the bed is clear, open and ready for him to come back to.
No, this isn't my usual fare. I don't normally write something that is "unfunny" or non-political. But, this is my HUSBAND, People! The Hotband! The one who saved me from myself. If it wasn't for this man, I probably would have given up any dream of a relatively normal life. I was so plagued by my past, the things that had happened to me, that I never thought I would allow myself to feel the pure honesty of a committed relationship ever again. Since meeting and marrying him, I have changed so much. I have grown in ways that I never dreamed I would (aside from horizontally!) I have learned the art of saying "I'm sorry". I have learned that admitting you are wrong doesn't mean you are weak. He has taught me that kindness to strangers goes a LONG, LONG way. He reminds me on a daily basis that I was not a victim of domestic violence, but rather, a survivor of domestic violence. He is the one that taught me there was a difference between laughing with and laughing at. He also reminded me that the ability to laugh at yourself is the greatest gift of all.
In short, this man has gifted me with more happiness and more beauty than any one woman could ever possibly deserve. He literally saved my life in one hundred different ways. While I have never needed a man to define me, I have always wanted one who was willing to be my equal, my partner in every single way. I watch him with my children and fall in love with him over and over again. He reminds my daughter to carry herself with self-respect. He cares for her and loves her better than her own father ever could. He is a constant provider of support for her. My son? They are best friends. My son refers to my husband as his "bonus dad". They play together like children. Yet, my husband grows up when it is time to be the adult. He respects my son and my son respects him. Most of all, he is teaching my son the fine points of being a real man in every aspect. He teaches him to have respect for women. He has taught him that women are the greatest blessing that God has ever put upon this earth and that they should be treated as such.
My husband is coming home tonight. Like a missing puzzle piece, the final link in making the picture complete, he is in the sky right now. My angel. Flying through the sky to be here, with me, in our heaven known as our home. Forgive me if I go on and on. Forgive me my inability to make light of this situation. My time with this man is the most precious possesion ever bestowed upon me. Seven months of separation, tears and pure frustration has now brought my husband home to me, to my children and life will resume once more. No more holding pattern. No more waiting and wondering. No more closing my eyes to the sound of his voice on my cellphone, and wishing he were beside me. No more emptiness.
My best friend, my partner in crime, my lover and my rock are on a plane right now, coming home. Home. He is finally coming home. And, for the first time in months, I am genuinely content. I am relieved. I am relaxed. I am over the moon.
Hotband, I love you with everything that I am. Each beat of my heart strengthens my love for you. Every thought of you is palpable, I can still feel you everywhere around me, even in your absence. I cannot wait to wake up Monday morning and know you will not be boarding a plane. I cannot wait to come home Monday evening and see you are already here. I can't wait to see the look on our little boys face when you walk through that door this time, knowing there is no reason to leave again. I cannot wait until I see you embrace your daughter. I can't wait for her to ask you for money. *wink* Life has been on hold for the past 7 months, but I feel like someone just hit the "play" button again.
I love you, N. I love you more than you will ever comprehend. Welcome home, Darling. Welcome back home, again.
Forever and ever and then some.