Part Dos: Deb and Mad - The Liberation of the Male Lesbian.

You think I was lying about their evil plan? They put me behind a space heater so my breasts would glow in the dark! Look at them! Glowing! Radiant, hot tits! These homosexual harlots were content to cook my ass over an open flame while Deb humped my husband into submission! Mad left me there to cook, until my shirt burned a hole straight through! See the picture of my hand sticking through my own blouse! They COOKED me! Finally, Hotband had no recourse but to stray. He had to hump his way to save me, his well-done piece of rump roast.

It was shameful. Disgraceful.

But those women know how to party.

See the picture of the swizzle stick going into the hole in the table? I think that had to do with a double-headed Emperor dildo and what it would be like, entering a very loose woman. I don't know. They tortured me into these heinous gestures...and look! They sit and they laugh.

They sit and they LAUGH!!!

My poor hotband. He's getting hair extensions and pedicures now.

He decided to be the lipstick instead of the butch.

Guess that means I have the balls in the family now.

Tomorrow: A Visit To The Intrepid Museum In NYC and some Secret Squirrel Piccies!