my true love gave to me:
Nothing.
Seems that my true love, the hotband, managed to bring everyones suitcase out to the car...and not mine. We boarded the plane. We got to Esther's. I went to get into my pajamas. No bag. I look through all the bags. None are mine. We check the claim check. Five bags checked. We had six.
My suitcase is sitting right next to the front door of my house.
I spent the whole first night here crying and calling the hotband all sorts of expletives that I will not divulge here. My shoes. My jewelry. My bags...oh my GAWD my beatiful Prada bag...home, in Florida. My Jimmy Choo boots bought especially for New York. In Florida. I am miserable. I am in the same bra, underwear and jeans I wore last night. I did, however, manage to finagle a shirt out of my daughter.
In other stories, I got stopped by security. Apparently, when we were moving, I tossed my vibrator into my overnight back to pack it and bring it to the new house. When I packed my toiletries for this trip, I neglected to remove it. When my bags went through security, my vibrator turned on and began to buzz. They swept my bag away to a private area to search it. They removed my vibrator, removed the battteries and then, put it back into my bag. The guy on the X=ray machine just sort of smirked at me.
Whatever. So far, my trip is sucking.
Happy Channukah.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
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33 comments:
OMG! I am so sorry you are without your planned trip items. I can understand the expletives, but I sort of feel bad for him. He's gotta be riddled with guilt.
The only way he can really fix this is to take you shopping immediately. And that may not be in the vacation budget, I would guess. Let's hope he's got a rabbit he can pull out of his hat.
Aww CP that really sucks :(
And I agree with Katrice, a shopping trip is in order. He should also buy you a new Prada bag...just because he put you through all that pain and misery of being without it.
OMG!! How horrible! I think that this calls for no sex for at least 3 months...and a huge shopping spree.
Um, yes, shopping is SO in order. And I am guessing you are going to be using your-you-know-what because Hotband sure as heck won't be getting any, am I right?
Well thank God you didnt Plunge to earth and die in a fiery blaze. Try not to be to hard on the hotband he is just a man after all.
I would die without my clothes and stuff.
That is the best airport security story ever.
Happy Channukah.
Shopping Shopping shopping!!! think of all the new gorgeous things you can get.......
Maybe Hotband was nervous about seeing Esther that's why he forgot a bag...
Cuz that lady sounds Scary!!
Happy Chanukah.
Are you able to call a neighbor or a friend to move your suitcase from the front of your house?
I would be out shopping especially for that new Prada bag!!
I'm so sorry to hear that. Want me to go to your house and get your suitcase and overnight it to you?
I have a similar story but with a pair of red furry handcuffs.....
The security lady was nice as I didn't have any under the plane luggage and just jammed them back into the bottom of my bag with the promise I would not be using them on the plane :D Of course you'd never get away with that anymore! This was years ago.
You probably made the security guards day a little brighter. I imagine their job is pretty Boooooring and they have to try and look mean all day :)
Too bad about your suitcase though.....maybe a friend can go move it??
hey there,
I'm not sure what your name is, so I'm hoping a "hey there" will do. I love the line about errections in your profile. This is my first visit(or so I think), so I just have one question and a comment...
Where were you travelling?
Happy belated Chanukah!
...I just read the previous post and got the answer to my question...Whoops.
This reminds me of the time we were living in the Middle East, where they even x-ray baggage when you enter the country.
My friend arrived back in the Middle East from a trip home (UK). Having packed her vibrator in her checked luggage, she didn't think much of it. But when going through the last x-ray machine, the x-ray guy asked her to open this particular bag. He pulled out the vibrator, gesturing for her to explain what it was.
Note, there was a long line of other expats re-entering the country, behind her. She took the vibrator and wrapped a lock of her long hair around it, amid the stiffled snickers and suppressed laughter from behind.
He bought it and she went through.
That totally sucks. I am so sorry. But just think, when you get back, you won't have as much laundry.
What a nightmare. This may be the the perfect reason to go shopping in NYC. You practically have to, right? What can you do, at this point?
I'd replace everything, and then grudgefuck the Hotband in your new Jimmy Choos.
tiger lamb girl: interesting story. Kinda funny, too;)
Man. That's movie-worthy.
i'm with the "neighbour with key and air freight" solution
or the "shopping" one
or the "make sure you check that your own bag is with you, because it's your bag" solution
(sorry - but you can only be so mad at someone else about your own bag being left behind)
----
as for the guard and the vibrator
he was being nice, i think
at least he didn't stick it to you
[heh - i kill me]
I'm with everyone in hoping that someone can get te bag for you and make sure all those wonderful items are safe. I started the first night of Channukah by realizing that i had no proper candles to fit in the menorah. I took two regular old candles said my candle lighting payer and hoped it would do. I still have no proper candles. Anyway, shopping in NYC is awesome anyway. Then again did you say you were going to manhattan or are you upstate? shopping there wouldn't be as fun.
I sure hope Hotband takes you shopping. And I hope your bag is inside the front door and not at the front door standing on your porch.
See... That's what happens when the hotband sucks you outta a trip to U2...
So... anybody minding the suitcase in Florida?
One pair of underwear, one vibrator. Which will get worn out first?
Oh. My. Shit.
I'm sorry CP, that's hilarious!!!
I'd have died.
Remind me to tell you about the time the pulled the .. ahem ... tie-downs? out of my bag, in a line full of Husbands employers and customers.
Fun stuff.
And feel free to choke the living shit out of the Hotband. I would. Before I went shopping with his credit card.
Ohmigod, your security experience is right up there with the SPINAL TAP cucumber...
As wonderful as the Hotband usually is, I'm sort inclined to go with the credit card shopping spree idea suggested above. That just sucks to be without your stuff that you picked out just for the trip. Major suckage and I hope that things improve!
I hope things improve for your holiday. Wow...I can't even imagine if my suitcase didn't even make it. Maybe someone could put on another flight to you...just a thought.
Oh hon...that sucks so much. I'm sorry.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!
First Hawaii and now this!!!
I am SOOO SOOOO sorry..... :(
Holy fuck. That sucks. What was your address again? LOL
Ouch. But don't let it ruin your trip, babe. It's just stuff, and you can shop for more. C'mon, you know you want to!
Just remember that the Hotband loves you, it was an honest mistake, and he's probably feeling SO bad right now! Kiss & make up, and have fun shopping! {{hugs}}
I have always wanted to buy the biggest vibrator on the market and go through security with it. And yell 'Dont u dare touch my penis!'
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