The Dance Off...and something extra.
*blink*
I am stunned. I don't know what to say. I wish I had the words. There are none.
I am simply going to let the videos speak for themselves.
Mr. Fab's Submission.
Avitable's Submission.
Did I say I had no words? I lied. When do I ever not have words? Pssssht.
Amateurs.
Based on the guidelines, I have to admit, the boys are pretty tame. I was really frightened to open these videos. I had my children leave the room. I had my dogs leave the room, too. You never know what these two men might do to an innocent animal for my affection.
Anyway, one was true showmanship in a creepy John Waters sort of way. The other, a plethora of cinematography and camera magic a la Martin Scorcese.
I will say that both of these videos had me laughing to the point of pee dribbling all over the place. I will also tell you that my husband ran out of the room in shock and horror. He returned shortly thereafter, and promised never to die, so that I will never have to live with either of these men.
Good news?
He finally agreed, after seeing these videos, that if I should grow a penis, he will indeed fellate me.
Isn't he wonderful? He is my hero.
Now, it is important that you remember this. Fab is a blogwhore. He has a harem. He is going to do everything in the world to win this mainly because he is UBER competitive and very childish when it comes to losing. Avitable, on the other hand, is not a blog whore and could give a shit less. You won't really effect his life. He knows how hot he looked in pink spandex. End of story.
(Don't have a clue what this post is about? Then you need to go here and catch the fuck up. This is a one time public service from the Certifiable Princess. Next time, you will just have to scroll on your own.)
Vote all you want, but anyone who votes "I read so and so and I will only vote for so and so because they are my friend" immediately gets excluded. You are to vote on the merit of the video, the dancing and the love you feel eminating from the video.
Remember. My penis is at stake here. Please don't take that lightly.
What if it was YOUR dick on the line?
And, lastly, since both of these amazing men went the extra mile to embarass, humiliate, dishonor, shame and disgrace themselves for the love of my not yet developed penis, I would like to share with you my most embarassing moment to date.
This video was taken sometime during the Blogathon when I was truly punchy. Obscenely intoxicated from a lack of sleep. I wanted so badly to lie to all of you and say "I was drunk!" I wasn't. This is me, lookin' all sorts of busted up, suffering from Taco Bell induced diarrhea (for any of you who remember the Blogathon, I was eating a Taco salad that you ALL warned me not to eat). I then proceeded to chastise my husband, on video, for the following reasons:
A) Buying me a diarrhea medicine that had ingredients I was allergic to.
B) Not showing me enough sympathy.
C) Not making me some rice to "bind me".
D) Purchasing medication that did not help my cramps.
You may have to watch this video twice to actually understand what I am saying. I was in full on Jewish Princess "would you like some CHEESE with that WHINE" mode. After viewing this, you will all garner new respect for the Hotband and probably wonder why Avitable and Fab are actually fighting over my penis!
Plus, I think it is only fair that I should lose my dignity right alongside the men who not only fought for my penis, but won my heart. I love them both and in their honor, have named my breasts Avi and Fabby. The right one is a little bigger than the left one. The left one has a second nipple from where a nipple ring used to be. They are both pretty deformed and demented. But, they are two hulky masses of fun, like them men who performed for you today.
I don't know what any of this means. It's 4am. Sue a bitch. Nothing will embarass me more than what you are about to see EVER. In some ways, this is really liberating. This truly is the only thing that will ever cause me to fucking DIE in unabashed disgrace. Not even my nude pics on FattyMILFLovers.com has caused me this much anguish.
(No, you fucking morons. There is no FattyMILFLovers.com. I made that up. Then again, I bet if you Google it, you would probably find something really nifty. Let's try, shall we?)
*pause*
Holy shit. You actually get a website called ChubbyMomLove. Wow. Maybe I am there after all...but certainly NOT for what you are about to see.
Let the humiliation begin!
I am stunned. I don't know what to say. I wish I had the words. There are none.
I am simply going to let the videos speak for themselves.
Mr. Fab's Submission.
Avitable's Submission.
Did I say I had no words? I lied. When do I ever not have words? Pssssht.
Amateurs.
Based on the guidelines, I have to admit, the boys are pretty tame. I was really frightened to open these videos. I had my children leave the room. I had my dogs leave the room, too. You never know what these two men might do to an innocent animal for my affection.
Anyway, one was true showmanship in a creepy John Waters sort of way. The other, a plethora of cinematography and camera magic a la Martin Scorcese.
I will say that both of these videos had me laughing to the point of pee dribbling all over the place. I will also tell you that my husband ran out of the room in shock and horror. He returned shortly thereafter, and promised never to die, so that I will never have to live with either of these men.
Good news?
He finally agreed, after seeing these videos, that if I should grow a penis, he will indeed fellate me.
Isn't he wonderful? He is my hero.
Now, it is important that you remember this. Fab is a blogwhore. He has a harem. He is going to do everything in the world to win this mainly because he is UBER competitive and very childish when it comes to losing. Avitable, on the other hand, is not a blog whore and could give a shit less. You won't really effect his life. He knows how hot he looked in pink spandex. End of story.
(Don't have a clue what this post is about? Then you need to go here and catch the fuck up. This is a one time public service from the Certifiable Princess. Next time, you will just have to scroll on your own.)
Vote all you want, but anyone who votes "I read so and so and I will only vote for so and so because they are my friend" immediately gets excluded. You are to vote on the merit of the video, the dancing and the love you feel eminating from the video.
Remember. My penis is at stake here. Please don't take that lightly.
What if it was YOUR dick on the line?
And, lastly, since both of these amazing men went the extra mile to embarass, humiliate, dishonor, shame and disgrace themselves for the love of my not yet developed penis, I would like to share with you my most embarassing moment to date.
This video was taken sometime during the Blogathon when I was truly punchy. Obscenely intoxicated from a lack of sleep. I wanted so badly to lie to all of you and say "I was drunk!" I wasn't. This is me, lookin' all sorts of busted up, suffering from Taco Bell induced diarrhea (for any of you who remember the Blogathon, I was eating a Taco salad that you ALL warned me not to eat). I then proceeded to chastise my husband, on video, for the following reasons:
A) Buying me a diarrhea medicine that had ingredients I was allergic to.
B) Not showing me enough sympathy.
C) Not making me some rice to "bind me".
D) Purchasing medication that did not help my cramps.
You may have to watch this video twice to actually understand what I am saying. I was in full on Jewish Princess "would you like some CHEESE with that WHINE" mode. After viewing this, you will all garner new respect for the Hotband and probably wonder why Avitable and Fab are actually fighting over my penis!
Plus, I think it is only fair that I should lose my dignity right alongside the men who not only fought for my penis, but won my heart. I love them both and in their honor, have named my breasts Avi and Fabby. The right one is a little bigger than the left one. The left one has a second nipple from where a nipple ring used to be. They are both pretty deformed and demented. But, they are two hulky masses of fun, like them men who performed for you today.
I don't know what any of this means. It's 4am. Sue a bitch. Nothing will embarass me more than what you are about to see EVER. In some ways, this is really liberating. This truly is the only thing that will ever cause me to fucking DIE in unabashed disgrace. Not even my nude pics on FattyMILFLovers.com has caused me this much anguish.
(No, you fucking morons. There is no FattyMILFLovers.com. I made that up. Then again, I bet if you Google it, you would probably find something really nifty. Let's try, shall we?)
*pause*
Holy shit. You actually get a website called ChubbyMomLove. Wow. Maybe I am there after all...but certainly NOT for what you are about to see.
Let the humiliation begin!
So Sayeth CP at 3:53 AM
129 Comments:
Avitable wins hands down. There isn't even a competition here.
My vote is in.
OH.MY.GOD. I can so see why Mr.Fab has such a following. He actually GRABBED himself STRONGLY for you, CP! Oh and those breastesses, lawdy, lawdy, hep me! I'm trying to contain myself here.
Okay, now I've got to watch Avi's.
The milkshake song? That's mah anthem, baybee! I had 6 months of ballet & I could detect all of Avi's professional skillz. He definitely knows how to shake his money maker.
I thought no way could Avi beat Mr.Fab, BUT...my vote goes to Avi. Deciding factor? Baby got BACK!
ps...I don't read either blog so count my vote!!
I was impressed with Fab's choice of costume for his performance... but I still have to render my vote for the Avitable because he came closest to recreating the real experience of the song.
His body shook in ways I didn't know bodies could shake.
Avitable almost got my vote for the sheer beauty of the pumping elbows and the - what the fuck was he doing there with the butt bumping? ... but the dirty things Fab did with his boa outweighed the shock and awe I felt at seeing him in a wig. So... Fab gets my vote.
And out of the gate, a strong start for Avitable, 3 to 1. Wow.
This is probably because Fab's minions are not awake yet.
Shhhhhhhh. Maybe if we stay really quiet, they won't hear us.
Mel, I totally respect your impartial rendering of your vote. Thank you for showing Fab the love.
Personally, I am saddened that Chatty and NYCWD didn't chastise and torture me over my video...but, the day is young.
CP.
*Squeels with laughter* haha holy shit!!
I think I love you more than either of these men!
Now who to vote for. It's kind of hard to choose for the following reasons:
1) Fab seemed to do more singing than dancing, this was a DANCE contest.
2) Avi spent half of his video talking!
Avi was the better dancer but he copped out by wasting half his time gabbing.
I can't vote for either of them.
I DID laugh my ass off though, while my husband sat across the room repeatedly asking me 'What the FUCK?!'
Oh yeah and my father swears by water with loads of pepper in it for the trots.
breigh - Okay. This is America. You can choose not to vote. That is your right. However, I think it's a cop out. So there. And um, my bowel movements are doing really well now. That video was from July. Nothing a little anal sex couldn't fix.
Why did I just say that?
Why?
Because it's 6:18 am, I haven't slept yet...and I'm punchy again. Thank Gawd I can't find my video camera.
CP.
DANCE CONTEST.
Not singing.
Not monologue.
Base it on the dance, the music choice and the love you feel radiates.
So far, I like my video the best.
I am into self loathing, er, I mean, loving.
CP.
While I thought that both had the moves, and could shake a pretty mean booty there were other factors to consider.
(1) Mr. Fab went the extra mile and costumed-up for the occasion. This was a good thing. But it was also a bad thing because he felt he needed a "hook" in order to get the vote. It would have been better if we could have seen his face contort as well as his body ... but the wig covered it up for the most part.
(2) Avitable didn't bother to costume-up. This is a bad thing because it tells me he's not that into you enough to bother. This is also a good thing because it was just so raw and unpretentious.
(3) Mr. Fab gave me an award for best Nov. blog post. This is good because it shows he has taste and recognizes a good thing when he sees it. This is a bad thing it means I owe him loyalty and this leads to favoritism.
(4) Avitable has never read my blog. This is a good thing because it means he has taste. This is a bad thing because I've never read his so there's no loyalty involved.
(5) Mr. Fab had to resort to pleasuring himself repeatedly throughout the video. This is a good thing ... for Mr. Fab anyway. It's also a bad thing because that boa surely gave him some sort of rash on his thighs and sack.
(6) Avitable was only about pleasuring you. This is a good thing. It's a bad thing because he got nothing out of it for himself.
When it comes down to the final vote giving ... I have no choice but to vote for ...
(wait for it)
Avitable
When it came down to it, the deciding factor was the rawness of the video. No props needed. Just simply a willingness to put himself out there, naked and exposed, if you will. And let's face it, the wig ... spoiled the beauty of what could have been.
You are so cute and sound exactly the way I'd imagined. Happy New Year!
JJ - OMG. That was so honest, so well thought out...I think I am going to cry! That was beautiful that you invested so much time in that analysis. Damn sexy too. Wanna make a video for me??? *L*
Randi - Please girl. I look like I was rode hard and put up wet in that video. Have the common decency to at least look at a cute pic of me! Lawd.
Now THIS is cute, Sistah!
Recognize!
I think all 3 of you are insane! But damned entertaining! I vote for Hotband!
Okay, between Avi & Fab, I have to vote for Avi, because although I adore Mr. Fab, you can't tell that's him in his video, and Avi's is raw & un-embellished.
Love the garage wall, though, Fab! Very cool. :-)
And CP? Bwahahahahahaha! I remember that night, though - you blogged your ass off! And it was for a very good cause, so we'll let that video slide... ;-p
Wow. I think I just aged about 15 years.
Mr. Fab, that is a worthy effort - the wig (that hides your face - was that a conscious decision?) is a nice touch.
But if I were allowed to vote, I'd vote for . . .
CP!
OK... This is NOT because we are blog-gaged... but my vote is definetely for Fab. Because he went all out and got us a whole package deal with dressing up and horny dancing...
Avi put up a hell of a fight though!!!
And CP gets 10 votes! I LUV your vid!!! LOL
Avi: 5
Fab: 2
CP: 10!
And that's without dancing!
I need to show y'all my tootsie roll, cabbage patch combo someday!
*snort*
Can I say that Fab made me, uh, touch myself? No? OK. I vote for Fab anyway.
Avitable all the way. I Can see him next season on dancing with the stars.
Fab with all the love and self reliance he is showing you you can't go wrong! He can also do some genuine singing! And I love the wall behind him.
Avi sure can dance but in the end who knows will he give a BJ and leave it as is or ask for something in return? Hey with Batman and Green Lantern in the background, he seems a little shady... he doesn't read Marvel...
My vote is for Fab. Come on! He shed his last bit of dignity for you. He is quite the entertainer!
I just had multiple orgasms. Dear lord, that's some shit.
I have to go with Avi. His milkshake does that to me.
Love the drunk and diarrhea clip. Freakin hysterical.
In hindsight, I wished I had done more dancing and at the time I didn't realize that the wig was obscuring my face (which was a shame because Mrs. Fab work hard on my makeup!)
For me it was all about showing the love. The costume, the custom song...if I went overboard with the prodcution values it was only out of love and devotion.
I like CP's video best because it includes the Hotband, who, along with Clive Owen, is my official man-crush.
7 for Avi.
4 for Fab.
10 for CP.
One very special vote for the Hotband.
who the fuck invited him into this...may I ask?
CP.
i have to say i thought this would be a harder choice, as i read both blogs.
avis cockyness put me off, and then..i kinda got board with his video. he is the betterZ"dancer" techniclly. BUT i wasnt entertained.
when fab danced, badly, he still entertained. horrifiyingly cant look away, hit play again as soon as it was done entertained.
so i send my vote to fab.
hugs avi...
Damn it, after all this is over I think I am going to make another video just for my blog showing that I actually CAN dance, damn it!
No frills, no wig, just me kicking it old school.
Now where are my old platform shoes with the goldfish in the heels...
LOL - I so needed this, but, but...I can't choose, UGH. I'll be back with my vote. This is AWESOME!
BPR, I'm so upset! I put my heart and soul into my excellent dancing!
Avitable all the way.
I hope no one is missing the bigger issue here, and that is that the Hotband HAS agreed to fellate CP if she grows a penis.
That was the heart of the matter.
Win or lose, I will be proud knowing that I played a part in that.
Fab's right. It was a public service that we performed.
We give because we care.
Avitable's talking about what a good dancer he is led me to expect brilliance.
While he CAN move for a big guy, He seemed rather bored with the experience.
While Mr Fab, on the other hand, put on a show for us.
Therefore, my vote goes with Mr. Fab.
my unofficial vote goes for the Hotband.
because, well.....he's hot.
Avitable gets my vote. He's in it to win it.
Happy New Year!
I vote for Avi. Although, next time he needs to be more naked in his video.
(Just kidding!)
Mr Fab gets my vote, he put a lot on the line for CP.
I thought Avitable was too cocky in his pre-dance speach.
It is very difficult to decide. Avitable's professional production skills contribute greatly to his video, and Fab has an interesting rough diamond approach to his submission.
My decision, based on the Emotional Intelligence Quotient of each video, is that Fab has shown the greater love for CP through the art of the dance.
My vote is for Fab.
Oh, and another 10 for CP,
our hostest with the mostest diarrhea. I will never think of "youtube" again without "spurting"
I have to go with Avitable. Mr. Fab's masturbatory habits sort of wierded me out.
As Mr. Fab's bodyguard, my choice could very well get me fired. But, to be fair, I watched both videos twice, espeically since Mr. Fab's could have used more lighting.
In the category of merit of the video: I am going to have to go with Mr. Fab. He took the time to get dressed up, and then there was the make-up he said Mrs. Fab put on him. I need to go his blog and see if there are actually pictures of this. Avitable just danced. Oh, and said Mr. Fab was going down.
In the category of the dancing: This is the toughest choice. I mean, Mr. Fab with the boa, and showing his nipples...and Avitable, actually dancing. I will have to vote for Avitable. No, Mr. Fab. No, make that Avitable. That is my final answer. I think.
In the category of the love you feel eminating from the video: I would have to go with Mr. Fab. I think Avitable may have lost sight of the fact that he was trying to win you over, and his primary concern became beating Mr. Fab.
Overall: Mr. Fab. I think he truely is trying to win your affections. I mean, he put on that blond wig for you!
I am disappointed there wasn't the full frontal nudity that was promised. *sigh*
And CP I am not voting for you because no one should have to suck their own imaginary penis.
I thought the point of this thing was to express their love and devotion for CP...
If that is not the case then why, oh why did I allow MY husband to profess said love and devotion to another woman...
And then post it on the internet for the whole world to see???
I'm sorry Mr Avitable, for me actions speak louder than words, and the actions that my husband Mr Fab performed (ok, they were actions performed on himself, but still...) spoke louder than your words (butt shaking not withstanding).
Bottom line (no pun intended) I vote for Mr Fab and not because I'm one of his minions, but because he put it all out there...
Bottom, bottom line - CP - who needs a penis when you've got balls - let's dump these two and I'll take you dancing - Always - Mrs Fab
i would like to suggest, beg and plead that we get to see the hotband sucking off CP if and when the penis does grow.
If you had something about choice of song, I would also have to go with Mr. Fab.
I enjoyed Avitable's gyrating a bit more than the snuff film qualities of Mr.Fab.
Avi gets my vote. His music choice was much better as well.
Glad your trots got fixed up, CP. Your video cracked me up!
holy shit, they both totally "BROUGHT IT"! those are some mad skillz, guys. :D
Mr.Fab all the way! He showed love. Avi was overconfident.
Avi's got rhythm. He's got dope moves. He's the winner.
Have to say my vote is for Avi. You can tell it's him dancing.
Who's to say that's Mr. Fab under that wig? :-)
Holy shit, it's Divine, and a dancing Gorilla. Heh, sorry. I just couldn't resist saying that. It's a tough choice here, but I have to vote for Mr Fab.
I think I have a new crush on Avi. I have never seen a man bend over and shake his booty like that, not that I ever need to see that again (ok maybe one more time... hold on...)
....
Whew.
While I must agree, Avi may be the better dancer (and by "dancer", I mean "elbow swinger") - I must vote for Mr Fab.
If dressing up like a huge, blond, very scary-looking woman, while showing your nipples, singing and humping a boa isn't love - I don't know what is.
<3
avitable gets my vote because
i was under the impression it was not
a singing contest but rather a dance contest.
is molesting one's self in disguise to music
dancing. maybe in some cultures, but not mine.
the poor lighting also prevents us from
knowing wether or not fab paid a hobo to
take on this endeavour for him.
i appreciate the enthusiasm avitable showed
and the fact that he wasn't afraid to show his face
while doing so. -liquid
I watched these at work, where I can watch but not listen. I didn't hear their music choices, so I brought my own. Mr Fab feels like he should be dancing to "Goodbye Horses," the creepy killer's song from Silence of The Lambs. Avi feels like he should be dancing to something much more up-tempo. For some reason, I picture a rock song instead of a dance song... Primus' "John The Fisherman."
I vote Avi. I'm pretty sure he actually would dance to John The Fisherman.
Ok first let me say that I wound u here because of Fab...who I love but I am a fair and just Queenie soo...onward with my comment.
CP you are my new idol. I was literally pissing myself at your video. Any woman who can post a video about having the shits is a goddess in my book. BTW - did the blogathon too. I didnt have taco bell shits though. I am adding you to my bloglines now. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
Ok ok back to voting -
Avi - I loved his commentary BUT...he shoulda shook it for the whole time limit. I felt jyped.
Fab with costuming and the lyrical talents wins in my book. Hands down. And um..I also think he should put that feather boa/new found sex toy up for grabs on ebay.
OMFG! They were both entertaining!
My vote goes to Avitable. He's da bomb!
Holy. Shit!
Can't. Stop. Laughing!
(deep breath)
Okay, here we go.
Mr. Fab was very into it -- that poor, poor boa. When I watched it, I thought there was no way Avi could top that.
Then came the Milkshake.
I vote Avitable.
Sorry Fab!
Oh. Dear. God.
My vote is based solely on the amount of pee emitted during the watching of these videos.
And though I love them both dearly...
Avitable.
The milkshake literally caused me to pee. In my office chair. At the beginning of the work day.
I'd have to vote for Mr. Fab. Way more unique and very well done. I love it. and I'm a big fan.
RoxDar
I commented on Mr. Fab's video, because it reminds me of Anna Nicole Smith circa 2002. While I thoroughly enjoyed the effort Mr. Fab put into his video with the costuming and makeup, I had to remind myself that although I was thoroughly entertained, this was, first and foremost, a DANCE contest. Avitable, although displaying a bit of poor sportsmanship with his pre-dance anti-Fab posturing, was definitely the better dancer overall. So, my vote goes to Avitable.
As for your video, CP, there are no words. Just a buttload of laughter.
Mr. Fab started out strong with the song and the strip tease. But then he punked out. WTF happened to the break-away pants and bow tie? LA-AME!
Avi's song was obviously carefully chosen and his dance exquisitely choreographed.
It was a hard decision but Avi takes it. I'm disappointed about the break-away pants. I expected so much more from Mr. Fab.
PS: I'm willing to reconsider if Mr. Fab has a 'do over' and gets some break-away pants. Plus, I didn't see ANY bootie shaking going on there. It's so sad.
OMFG!
*snortgigglesnortsnort*
I had to wipe away the tears to see my keyboard.
Avi wins. Hands down. I'm still giggling my ass off. And that song!!! Oh my shit ...
Fab ... you know I love ya, but seriously? you just scared the shit out of me. I'm gonna have nightmares now.
CP, I already told you you outdid yourself. What more is there to say?
Hell, I'm still laughing. Go AVI!!!!
Sorry, it has to be Avitable! That vid was bloody hilarious. I'm going to giggle every time I hear Milkshake...
Avi to win!
Avitable....mainly because of the introduction.......LOL =)
Avi, all the way. I love the jazz hands.
I don't understand why you can't have both. Buy a duplex. Alternate weeks. It's like Bruce and Demi and Ashton or Afghan or whateverthef*ck his name is.
Avitable: 26
Fabulous: 15
Hotband: Two unofficial votes that have nothing to do with the above.
CP: Gets her choice of penis suckers! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!
I win! I win!
You still have 17 hours of voting goodness.
CP
You know, I REALLY did want to get breakaway pants but I couldn't find them on short notice.
Here was the problem with the lack of booty-shaking: I shook like a madman during the first take, and the pants fell down. And you know how I don't like to wear underwear...
The horror...the horror...
I was NOT ready to do a full monty!
But Miss Ann, if you want to cut to the chase, I can send YOU some naked photos of myself (tastefully done, of course). Maybe the Hotband can take them...
Avitable. I want to learn those moves :)
I.
Am.
Ashamed.
No, really, because they both have better dang dance moves than me. WTF is up with that!?
OK. How to choose? Mr. Fabulous dressed as a woman but Avitable can actually dance (maybe? well, maybe not as one would see in the clubs these days).
I would remain absolutely neutral (because how do you decide) but I don't believe in neutrality so I can't. So...Mr. Fab gets my vote - and I base that on who I think would give better head based on the personality shown in the videos - because how do you decide between two so very different styles of dance?
I am completely at a loss. Here's to hoping your husband outlives you.
I like the simplicity of Avi's ass-shaking and he didn't need fancy props or makeup.
Mr. Fab- crotch grabbing always makes me think of "The Crabs", not sexy. And I don't care for makeup on a man. Long hair is OK, but not bleached.
Nope, I go for the manliness of Avitable.
O.
M.
G.
LMAO!!
Did i hear somebody say tasteful nude photos?
~swoons dead away~
Avitable. Definitely. Remember: Shake it, dont break it!
Avitable gets my vote!!
Voting for Avitable, and it's not because I'm trying to work off the cyber-debt accrued by reading his entire disclaimer.
Avitable: 31
Fabulous: 16
People who are pissing me off by not committing to a vote?
Priceless!
You can POST ANONYMOUSLY, you cowardly lions! Duh!
CP.
Wow It takes a lot of cajones to dress up in a wig and rub a feather boa on your nuts while singing I touch myself.
Although I though Av had a better music selection
I am going to go with Fab vote. And your video!! You sound mahvelous daahhhling
Sweet Jesus. I'm going to have nightmares for months over this. My vote has to go to Mr. Fab for overall presentation/dancing. Gah.
O.K. Big Mama is here now... I have kept quiet and blurked quietly to finally come to my vote...
CP- you get 12 votes because you totally rock and roll
Hotband- gets (only) 10 because although he is gorgeous, he doesn't rock nearly as hard as you (that we know of yet)Not to mention wassup with the no rice making?!?!!? Wrong move Hottie!
Avi- has got some mean skills and is very handsome, BUT a little too cocky on the outset...
Mr. Fab- is just that! My vote goes to the Fab-man for throwing caution to the wind and letting it all hang out (nipple included)...
When it's all said and done I think they should both take turns, I mean we are talking about "THE FANTASY PENIS" after all!
Next contest I expect full frontal/Full Monty!
AWWW YEAH, my vote's for Avitable -you had me at "my milkshake" WOOO to the HOOO
Ok, after laughing my ass off and nearly spewing Mt Dew everywhere, I like that Fab dressed up and went the extra mile and grabbed himself. Avi had a great choice of music. But my vote has to go to Mr. Fab. CP that was one of the funniest fuckin' videos of shit I have ever seen. LMAO
~Sassy~
i'm with sassy on the costume vs music issue
the costume is high merit, but avi's music was better
i think you should go for a threesome if you ever grow a dick
that's what a guy would do...
Avitable gets my vote for dancing. But Mr. Fab was fabulous.
Cad - Soooooooooooooo, who are you voting for? That was kind of vague. Spell it out for me...unless of course you want to make a video and get into the running to??? *L*
CP.
Whoa, Avitable gets my vote.
I don't read either of them and that first video kind of creeped me out.
My vote goes to Mr. Fab, because he can shake a mean groove thang AND because I like a man who is comfortable enough in his own skin to 'fess up to being that creep in "Silence of the Lambs."
A.vit.a.fuckin.ble
The case is as follows: I am far too cool to do these kinds of things, but here I am doing it.
This is all you need to know.
Ta!
Avitable made me forget there was another video with his pure milkshake power.
Holy fucking shit.
Sorry, Fab. Avi's got it hands down.
Thank Christ it wasn't filmed on Naked Avitable Night, though. The whole butt-shaking could have been a lot different...
I vote for mr. Fab
Well CP we need a countdown.... Who is winning?!?!
Although I lololol'd at both... CP My vote is for Faboo... he went the extra yard and a half AND nipplage ALWAYS gets my vote!
I want the boa as a souveneir!
TOUCH YOURSELF BABY!
At last tally...
FAB: 23
AVI: 37
Whoa. It's gettin' tight as a virgin on prom night!
Aw, who am I shittin', no one is ever a virgin by prom night anymore.
CP.
Nine more hours, Peeps.
Keep up the good work!
One of these men will be sucking my fantasy penis by morning!
CP.
I nue to dancin feet. I vote for big guy wit nipples an hair. I lik his body How many dollar for him?
I voye Fab. He gorijuos.
blue beak...go peck out someones eye. You already voted, you Froot Loop! *snorts*
CP.
I vote for Fab. Although I know it was a dance contest, he seemed to go above and beyond to win your affections. What can they do for an encore? :)
Altho I do love me some silk saddle action...and Fab do's it right, Avi gets it hands down and bottoms up for me!!
And to my sistah, CP...while I did wet myself watching your video...you should go easier on the Hotband. I mean he's expected to remember your plethora of allergies AND deliver the sweet lovin' 8 days a week? Sheesh, you're a handful!!
Oh, and I WAS a virgin on prom night...could've been because I went with a gay guy, but doesn't explain the following 4 years of "purity" :)
I've got to vote for Fab.
He's a smoking hot bitch who looks as if he could suck a golf ball through fifty feet of garden hose and swallow a liter of liquid in a gulp.
Chatty kinda sorta sent people over here by posting just Avi's vid on IT2M. I'm not sure if that's in the spirit of the competition. I thought it was only going to be posted here.
Not whinin'. Just sayin'.
Fab. Fab because he got all costumed up. And he makes a beautiful bitch!
While Avi showed good dance moves and good rhythm, I must cast my vote for Fab for creativity (the towel in the crotch move) and for showing of the cleavage in such a provocative manner.
Mr. Fab showed real emotion I think...and a nipple. Did he mean to? Was it costume failure? We may never know.
But...
Avi hands down...Not down his pants...Just hands down gets my vote.
My vote is for Avitable, no question!!!! Rock *on* boy!
Who says white men can't dance?
Thank you to both performers, both will be used as a teaching aid for my son.
my vote...Avitable.
Although Mr Fabby gets half a vote for getting me slightly moist because of his flashing nips.
Fab - You are right. She did do that in direct violation of the rules. However, she did not mention the contest, nor did she direct a link over here for votes. If she had done that, Fab, you would win by disqualification. I don't honestly think Avi had anything to do with his video going up there. So long as the contest isn't mentioned and there is no link to my page, I can't call a technical foul on this one.
Plusssssssssss...some of your readers have been posting in your favor anonymously, thinking I am too stupid to realize that. *L*
But they love you, so I understand!
Seven more hours!
Pimp away, boys!
Fab, I didn't encourage Ms. Chatty to do that, and I had no idea she was going to.
It's not my fault that my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
WoooHoo it loaded.
I vote Avi all the way.
I sooo have that song stuck in my head now. Great just before bed time too. :P
Avi...J says you bring his milkshake to the yard ;)
You have my vote
I didn't know Avitable had such hot dance moves! Who knew? While I appreciate Mr. Fab's use of costume and gesture, Avitable really put himself out there with his pre-KFed Britney-inspired moves with a touch of booty dance. I'd love to see his rendition of "Baby Got Back" next time. It's clear that he's in a class by himself, so AVITABLE gets my vote!
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Avi: 43
Fab: 27
Six more hours to go!
Special prize for the winner, but pretty rockin' consolation prize.
There are no losers.
Both of these guys tweak my nipples!
Avitable.
I think they both did a great job and I could not vote for one of them...Id have to vote for both of them. The videos were so funny! They really put their hearts in it! Ya gotta love em!
Can't vote for both. Sorry catch!
CP.
How about a nice compromise? Since all 3 of you are willing to give blowjobs (CP, I am assuming you do), how about a 3some? That way...no losers & everybody leaves with a smile on their face.
ps...If you do what I suggested, please video it. Thank you very much.
This was a tough one. And part of me felt it best not to pick one over the other. BUT, after weighing both hottie's strong points, I choose Mr. Fab! Loved his choice of song and his moves radiated the love for CP. I believe he would go the extra mile for CP's fantasy penis. Dancing is more than skill, it's communicating on a sensual level, that Mr. Fab. has in spades! Plus, he's not afraid to use "props" (the feather boa) when it comes to pleasing CP! Yes, that pretty much clinched it. ;-)
3T
PS. CP, you're hilarious; whether discussing your fantasy penis, or sharing with the whole internet world that you had Taco Bell shits during the Blogathon! *mwah!*
Well, those were QUITE lovely! I really had a hard time deciding. I think that Avitable's production quality was a wee better than Mr. Fab's. I, too was upset about the non-use of break away pants. Avitable, however, cannot do anything without mouthing off something. He talks a big game at the beginning of his audition video. Fortunately for him, he produced.
I'm gonna send him to Hollywood. Welcome to Hollywood, baby! I vote for Avitable.
PEE ESS--Didn't we all tell you not to eat that shit salad for blogathon? YR LYK SEW DUM. But I luv you.
PEEPEE ESS--if it comes down to a tie-breaker, are you going to have a penis measuring contest?
PEPEEPEE ESS--I'd totally suck your fantasy dick soo...ya know. Heh
Fab: 28
Avi: 45
Kentucky Girl: 129,871,247 for offering to suck my imaginary dick.
She wins!
CP.
First things first. Mr. Fab, I would throw that boa away now. That thing went so far up the nether regions, it can never be restored to its original state. Excellent song choice.
Avitable wins, however. Big Man can dance! Sure, he stole the entire dance from a Vonage Commercial, but he does have mad skillz.
Voting is now closed.
Thank you.
Final tally to be hung in t blog post as soon as I can wake myself the hell up.
CP.
Mr. Fab for this gal. Not that Avi isn't hot in pink. but...I have my loyalty.
Hey, he doesn't WEAR pink! yes, I voted after watching Mr. Fab's and before watching Avi's...Like I said, I have my prior loyalty. But I have to say that the Milk Shake dance was pretty damn close to Fab's drag queen splendor. CP, you're a winner either way.
WHAT THE HOLY, EVER-LOVIN' FUCK??? ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-THREE COMMENTS?????
I don't know how to vote... though I do have a Youtube account, and might go cast a vote there...
However, it begs saying, I enjoy Fab's blog, and have never set eyes on Avitable's (YET!). And in viewing the two videos, IF I were to cast a vote purely on their videos and not on their blog content, I would HAVE to vote for Avitable.
My criteria for this decision?
I stopped Fabby's video at 00:33, which is roughly the time his nipples made an appearance. And despite what appeared to be a rear-dry hump of the poster to the left (Avitable's right, which appeared like Robin? I think??), I was still able to watch Avitable's video to completion.
Don't know how much my vote will count, given the fact that I am self-medicating with a rum cake and Aunt Flo is kicking my ass from the inside out.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a tampon to remove, and I have to forage for some chocolate.
I don't read either blog, and I vote for Avi! But it was close...way to go guys!
That was awesome. I have to vote for Mr. Fab, I mean, nothing says love like crotch grabbing and chest baring.
As for your video, that was awesome. Thank you so much for sharing. Really, thank you.
OK, after much deliberation, I have to still tip in Mr. Fab's favor, simply because I factored in level of difficulty, and Fab was singing AND dancing. A dual threat.
Also? Props to your AWESOME debate skills, illustrated at the end of your vid when you spout the brilliant and totally non-sequitor, retort to your husband, "Well, you're BALD!"
You should write presidential speeches.
As much as I love Avi's dance, Mr. Fab is tops in my book!! His hair made all the difference I think :) -- CP -- YOUR video made me nearly pee my pants from the word GO!!
Kinda mad I missed the voting, but I looked at the other videos on YouTube also. CP, who knew you had flow, Girl? She raps, she sings, she writes with pure hilarity. The princess reigns.
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