I am in a BAD fucking mood...Part One.

Matter of fact, I have the overwhelming urge to cut someones head off and shit down their throat. Seriously. This new job of mine is causing me more aggravation than Freddy Kruger scraping his knife fingers down a chalkboard. I cannot get over how "old nurses" treat new nurses. I am trying, really trying, to be the respectful, professional person I know I am. However, it is getting increasingly more difficult not to pull a Charlie Manson on these women. I have found two nurses (women) with redeeming qualities. One male nurse. THATS IT. But, there is one nurse imparticular who has really got me steamed. Let's call her 'jackass' because it rhymes with her name. (Seinfeld reference: Dolores Clitoris)

This flaming bitch actually yelled at me. Yelled. At ME! We had two admissions coming in. Admissions are a lot of paperwork. No one likes them...least of all me, because...well...I don't have a clue how to do them! Heh. Anyway, one comes in at 10:15pm. Okay, that's my admit. I get off at 11pm. I go into report with the oncoming nurse at 10:45, but, I figure I will at least start the admit. I get through 90% of it by the time I have to give report. Isn't that nice of me? I didn't leave it there for the next nurse. The second admit comes rolling in. It is now 11:05pm. I am tying up some loose ends, intending on leaving in the next five minutes.

"Where do you think you're going," jackass says as she sees me reaching for my purse. Normally my answer would be "I'm sorry. Forgive me. When exactly did you become my mother?" However, since I am new on the job and have never met this nurse before I simply reply, "home".

"Oh no you're not," she bellows. "This admission came in while you were here. It's yours." Now, dumbass me should have said "Look you fatassed wad of shit. Don't tell me what to do, and I won't notice the big wart sticking out of your Shrek ass looking nose." What I did say instead was, "would you like me to stay for a few minutes and help you?"

"Help ME? You aren't helping me. It's YOUR admission." "I'll be more than happy to get it started for you," I say, chirping like a birdie on the fingertip of Snow White. I was waiting for the Disney announcer to start speaking in the background and an orchestra to begin playing. Yes, I was THAT sweet. So, I start writing up the orders. She doesn't help. It's 12:45am. I am tired. I am going home. "Here you go," I say. "It's all done." No answer. "I'm sorry," I say. "Perhaps you didn't hear me. I said I am done." "I heard you." Cunt. No other word can accurately describe. Cunt is the only one that fits. I go home. I am fuming. But, sleep is all that's on my mind right now so I don't dwell.

Next day, I come into work. Lyn, a nice nurse, says to me..."You didn't do the admission last night?" My jaw drops.

"What are you talking about?? I did both of them before I left. I didn't get out of here until a quarter of 1 in the moring!"

"CP, there is nothing in the chart from you. Nothing."

"ExCUSE ME????"

"Jackass is telling everyone that you refused the patient and that she had to write up all the orders. I even got reamed this morning because they accused me of not teaching you how to do them and leaving you with the admits and no knowledge."

"Lyn, I am telling you. I did both of them. Both!!!!"

She sighs and looks at me with hurt eyes. She obviously thinks I am not being honest and I am floored that I caused someone else trouble.

"Lyn, I promise you. I did those orders. Jackass demanded that I stay and do them even though it came in way after my shift was over. I did them and somehow, I will prove it to you."

"Don't worry about it, CP."

I hate those words. Don't worry about it. That guarantees I am going to worry about it. I made someone else get in trouble and now, the whole floor is looking at me like I am the biggest lowlife alive. Okay, they probably weren't but it sure as fuck felt like it did.

Stay tuned for tomorrow, when CP gets all CSI on the jackass!