Dear Crack Whore...

I am writing to thank you for being the low life piece of scum that you are. Not only did you feel it was okay to smash my passenger window of my car and steal my purse, but you also were inclined to use my credit card. Sadly for you, Crack Whore, you weren't able to use my card. It is maxxed out. I also appreciate you using, rather, attempting to use my card at a 24 hour gas station that is all lit up and has cameras everywhere. We have your transaction on receipt and your ugly fucked up mutilated looking mug on video. Do you not realize that a crack whore such as yourself would be noticed immediately? You are wearing Good Will clothing while carrying my $400 Chanel bag. Your face is pock-marked and your hair is stringy and greasy. I almost wish that my cards were available to you so you can clean your shit up a bit. You need a bath, Crack Whore. Incidentally, we got the license plate number of the motorcycle you were on with your Douchebag boyfriend. He must have been the piece of shit who broke into my car in the first place. That's okay. By the end of this week, we will have you on breaking and entering, fraud, forgery and petty theft charges. I do hope that my cards being maxxed out wasn't too much of an inconvenience for you, you slimy slut. What kind of person breaks into a car to steal a purse that was, thankfully, empty...save for my license and credit cards? I would call you a dripping, stank wet cunt, but frankly, that is too good for the likes of you. I can get my window fixed. No problem. I'm well insured. My credit cards? All new ones will come by mail soon enough. No issue. You got all of my makeup. Sadly for you, I am a natural beauty which means you didn't get more than a lipstick and my mascara. Use it, Crack Whore. You need it. My drivers license? I can get a new one. My nursing license? No issue really. I can get another one sent to me. What really bothers me, you inconsiderate slimy whore, was that you interrupted my last night with my husband. He leaves for Ohio tomorrow and you caused him so much stress that I couldn't get laid tonight. Not for lack of want, but for the simple fact that you gave him such a bad headache that he vomited and went to sleep. That is what is pissing me off, Crack Whore. The fact that I couldn't get some hot throbbing dick because of you being a cunt. Ironic, isn't it?

Anyway, Crack Whore, in the big picture, you got away with nothing. You charged exactly $8.36 on my charge card before they shut you down. You bought two packs of cigarettes and two lighters. Are you fucking insane? Do you not know what it is to WORK for you money, you crab infested fucker? No matter though, Crack Whore. My husband makes ten times that just for sitting in his chair in the morning. I hope my things help you to get through another day, Crack Whore. Just long enough for me to watch you go to jail. And I will be pressing charges, street slime. Bet your ass on that.

In the interim, might I suggest you go fuck yourself and crawl under a rock to die? I think I would be willing to drop the charges if you would do that.

Sincerely,

Pissed Off Princess.

PS: I want you to know that if you ATTEMPT to break into my home after breaking into my car, that I will not hesitate to put a knife into your left eyeball and watch it come out of your right ear. True that.