Change.

It's a huge word with only six letters. A huge word that can make a difference in this life.

I got into a conversation with a friend on facebook who said "I would like to see one Obama supporter who has something to say about the man other than change."

What else is there?

After eight years of watching the economy fall to pieces, change would be a good thing. When he asked me what my reasons were for voting for Obama, I too said "change".

"What are you looking to change, CP?"

"Everything."

"And you think that one man with barely any experience can make those changes?"

"It took one man to create this hole we are in. I believe that it will take one man to lead us out. No offense to John McCain. I respect the man and his service to this country. What lost me was putting Sarah Palin on that ticket."

"Do you have something against women in office," he asks.

"No. I just have a problem with her..."

"And in two years when the economy is just as bad and we are still in Iraq, can I tell you I told you so?"

"If it helps you to sleep at night."

Realistically, it isn't going to get done in one term. It took us 8 years to get into this mess. It's going to take 8 years minimally to get us out. I'm not saying that Obama is the second coming of the messiah. He isn't. He's just a guy with common sense and high aspirations. He is a man who is adopting a lot of grief being dumped on his ass. I don't envy his position.

What I do have is faith and hope. I pray for his family and for this country.

I can't do it...

I want to walk away from this blog, but I can't. So I am going to do things a little differently.

I'm not allowing comments.

After some time, I felt like I was writing to an audience, instead of using this blog for its true purpose...writing. I go back to old posts and they were insightful and humorous. When I was getting 30 to 60 comments a day, I realized there were people out there who enjoyed my writing. I started catering, pandering actually, to those people. It affected the way I write and eventually, I felt like I had to "entertain" instead of just writing from the core.

I watched this happen to a few other blogs. I can't do that with mine.

There are people who enjoy writing to entertain. They are good at it and do it effortlessly. They manage to post daily and be hysterical or deep or clever. I'm not one of them. I thought I was, but I'm not. I want (need)to write for me. If someone happens to read it and is inspired, wonderful. It's just not meant for me.

It's not that I don't want people reading my blog. If that were the case, I would make it private. The reality is I wasn't writing from my heart anymore. I was writing with my head without a real purpose. My other blog was being misused...I stopped using it for my bipolar disorder and started using it as an escape from THIS blog.

Why would I feel like I have to escape from my own content? It's a ridiculous notion.

So that's it. This is probably the only entry that will address this situation. I can't explain it any better than I have. If something is so dire that you feel the need to comment, my email address is on my page. I am not giving up my friends that I have made through my blog. That would be ludicrous. I met the most amazing people through this blog. I even made out with a few of them...

That's another story for another day ;)

Maybe someday I will feel like I can open up my comments again without feeling like I have to be on display or being hyper interesting. I can come to the party in my pajamas rather than a ballgown. That's what it feels like...

The blog is here. I'm here. I will use this place to share stories about things that are going on in my life. That's all. It was the original intent. I have to keep it that way for my own good.

And even after saying that, I am wondering what everyone is thinking about this post...

I will never know.